Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Craigslist Ad

Today I received an email from a friend of mine asking if I knew of any no-name motels that were available for Jan. 19-20, as all of the reputable ones have been booked solid for the presidential inauguration. Having been alerted to this housing crisis I posted the following ad on craigslist:
Room for Rent -- Inauguration Day/ObamaCon 2009
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Reply to: hous-914613135@craigslist.org [?]
Date: 2008-11-11, 11:45AM EST

In a search of a room in DC so that you can spend Jan. 20 standing in the bitter winter cold with thousands of like-minded souls watching the historic transfer of power from one Harvard grad to another? Look no further.

Me: Heartless, greedy right-wing oppressive type looking to make a buck.

You: Obama's election was Christmas/your first kiss/May Day all wrapped into one. You dutifully wore his button -- which you have yet to remove -- contributed money to his campaign from your non-profit job and chanted "yes we can" as if it were the 11th commandment. A strange void now exists in your life and -- like an old hippie looking to recapture the spirit of Woodstock -- you are undertaking a pilgrimage to Washington for one last gulp of the Kool-Aid.

Along with my bedroom you will have access to the house's many amenities including cable television (not that you watch much TV) for viewing Keith Olberman's latest unhinged rants and CNN in high-def. Wireless internet means that the Huffington Post and DailyKos are only a click away on your MacBook. American flags and other patriotic paraphernalia in the room can be removed upon request.

The house is located in the diverse neighborhood of Adams Morgan with people of many different skin pigmentations that will allow you to revel in your tolerance. Rest assured, however, that this diversity does not extend to ideology and that you are sure to march lock-step with the prevailing sentiment ensuring that your most strongly held beliefs remain unchallenged.

Easily accessible subway and bus stops will help ensure a minimal carbon footprint while fair trade coffee is never more than a few steps away at any number of independently-owned establishments. Nearby non-chain bookstores similarly mean that tomes such as Mao's Little Red Book, Chomsky's latest masterpiece or additional copies of The Audacity of Hope can be easily purchased either for yourself or as early holiday shopping.

Rather than state a price I am requesting that you bid on this fabulous opportunity to ensure profit maximization on my part so that I can better weather the Bush Recession.
If I get any really good responses I'll consider posting them.

Update: Just received this:
Hey,

My mom is looking for a place to stay for the inauguration. I was on the campaign from the beginning, so I have 15 people stayin with me (starting a hippie commune). Do you have pictures of your place etc? She is willing to pay around 500 a night.

Thanks,

Meredith
More responses here.

10 comments:

bgates said...

I knew Bush had ruined the economy, but I had no idea it was so bad that one of Obama's middle class supporters couldn't afford more than $500 a night to crash in a stranger's spare room.

Anonymous said...

Meredith's mom has to pay $500 to rent a room because her daughter won't make space?

Bwahaha.

Retread

Anonymous said...

Careful, after Pelosi blocks the Free Trade in Inagural tickets she will probably push for new laws on spare bedroom justice that will set low prices on all spare bedrooms and force those with spare bedrooms to give them up to hopeychangy synchophants.

CastoCreations said...

Wow...$500 a night to stay in someone's home? That just astounds me.

Hide your valuables and breakables.

Anonymous said...

Nearby non-chain bookstores similarly mean that tomes such as Mao's Little Red Book, Chomsky's latest masterpiece or additional copies of The Audacity of Hope can be easily purchased either for yourself or as early holiday shopping.

Early holiday shopping? By inaugeration day, the "holiday season" will be over. President's day and Valentine's day are affirmations of white male oppression and heterosexual orthodoxy. So which holidays do you mean?

The One's birthday is August 4th. Surely that's a bit early to be shopping for presents?

Colin said...

Good point about the holiday shopping bit. I suppose it could be for Earth Day which is held three months after.

TesterDev said...

You are my hero forever.

Rach said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

LOL
I bow, sir, to your pwnzrness. Terrific ad.

Anonymous said...

Too bad the humor/sarcasm will be lost on all the Obama supporter comrades.